ℌ𝔬𝔴 𝔗𝔬 𝔉𝔦𝔫𝔡
𝔗𝔬𝔪 ℜ𝔦𝔡𝔡𝔩𝔢’𝔰 𝔊𝔯𝔞𝔳𝔢 ℑ𝔫
𝔊𝔯𝔢𝔶𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔯𝔰 𝔎𝔦𝔯𝔨𝔶𝔞𝔯𝔡

Some folk in Greyfriars Kirk’s congregation are not so much Harry Potter fans. Some have not read the books. In fact at least one old lady has become so bothered by Harry’s endless hordes she confessed "I *sometimes* wish the books had never been written".

Most Edinburghers are quietly proud of Rowling, she’s ours, she overcame here, her epic is a luminous pillar of our childhoods, the Ministry of Magic is a Tory government, naturally, we’re fond of her. Except perhaps when she has her towering hedges cut & cherry-picker lorries block the roads: traffic forms, teeth grind.

Anyway, you are wanted in Edinburgh and you will receive a warm welcome in the historied world heritage graveyard of Greyfriars Kirk; which boasts a broad congregation. However, you will be loved all the more, by all of Greyfriars’ community, if you give back for your visit.

Whether that’s by donating £1 inside the Kirk for their map of Graves or taking our Kirk’s own loving & encyclopedic historical tour. Or book one of the many Potter tours that visit, which are expected to pay an ENORMOUS levy to preserve & enhance the Kirkyard for future generations.

And if your just not £1 into a macabre open-air museum, better not go, you’ll get skinned, these people, or that one old lady anyways - boomin’ dangerous. Bloomin’ lethal. You should visit Camera Obscura world of illusions instead. That is truly wicked fun & ridiculous too.

Go well
x
Sam

Repeat after me "I am a wizard not a baboon with a stick" 🍌

In the books Thomas Riddle, son of Thomas Riddle Senior, lived to 71 years old. Clearly he must have staged his death in Edinburgh, embracing a new life as immortal Voldemort. He also spelled his name wrong. One day I’m going to have ten names and spell them all wrong.

Potterheads sometimes leave notes here for the Dark Lord, they’re a joy to read... "RIP Tom, thank you for making us all believe in magic. You are an inspiration."
Another sneered "Dear idiots, you know there’s a difference between fiction and reality, right?"  Ah, go boil yer head.

Sadly I have little hope for your OWLS*, but girls bathrooms are forever in want of lumbering, knuckle-dragging bone-heads.

The Dark Lord does not trifle with death tallies. The Dark Lord simply seeks to emancipate all members of society to their rightful station, murder is merely an unfortunate neccessity to lubricate the wheels.

* Ordinary Wizarding Levels 🙄

Well I guess we shouldn’t expect too much, Potter the boy who fell off the back of a broom 🤕

In the Half Blood Prince we see how a neglected, loveless beginning in Wool’s orphanage, led Tom to a desire for domination and punishing people. Dumbledore could have perhaps shown him love and developed him much like he did for his counterpart, the unloved, parentless cupboard-dweller Harry, but he didn’t.

The name "Thomas" is the Greek form of the Aramaic name Ta’oma’, which meant "twin". Both Harry and Tom grew up unwanted & bullied & were half-bloods. If they lived in Edinburgh they might both well have been sorted into a house at George Heriot’s school, founded as a school for poor and fatherless ‘bairns’ (kids). But Rowling has said Voldemort being a literal relative of Harry would be a bit "Star Wars".

By the time Dumbledore arrived at the orphanage to invite Tom to Hogwarts he was too far along. A loving relationship was impossible because Tom was compelled to withdraw to avoid the shame of Dumbledore’s disapproval. It’s hard to like those who distrust and dislike us, so in time Tom came to despise Dumbledore.

Rowling said everything would have been different if Tom’s mother Merope had survived and raised him herself, she says ‘love wins’.

Dumbledore is, on this occasion, a mentor by counter-example. If we treat everybody as precious, even those who have wronged, or we disagree with, then we do not drive people to become twisted in their hatred of us or our values.

Potter’s touched in the head, I’ve seen more liveliness in Merlin’s saggy left testicle 🥜

Hold your Hippogriffs! ✋ Potter’s not the swiftest wand in Ollivanders.

Rowling pronounces it "Voldemoor", but she confessed she is the only one in the whole world. In JK Rowling’s smash hit play The Cursed Child all the character’s pronounce his name properly.

In the Chamber Of Secrets we learn that Tom Marvolo Riddle, a half blood like Harry, chose to turn his back on his Muggle side and embrace his wizard heritage declaring 'I am Lord Voldemort', which is in fact an anagram of his original name.

To preserve this anagram in the foreign translations his middle name had to change. In Iceland: Tom Trevor Delgome, perhaps Neville Longbottom’s toad had a duel identity, he did go wandering a lot. Norway: Tom Dredolo Venster, half of 'dread' it sounds suitably ominous, France: Tom Elvis Jedusor, nobody can beat the French.

Except perhaps the Spanish translation, Neville’s toad, which he’s always losing, was translated as a turtle. "Which surely makes losing it rather more difficult" - JK.

Perhaps an interesting thing to ask about when chatting to Harry Potter fans who read them in translation.

It’s a wonder Potter hasn’t poisoned himself. We can all be thankful that delight awaits ⏳

You think Voldmor feared Harry? He hated Dumbledore’s pawn perhaps, but mostly he was puzzled by him.

Dumbledore was a powerful adversary, the champion of liberalism, to be managed and outmaneuvered. He left Tom’s boots quake free 🗿

Himself as a corpse. He most fears death - “Vol - de - mort”, French for theft of death. Ferocious matriarch Molly Weasley’s Boggart is the death of a family member.

If Voldemort stood in front of the Mirror of Erised - which translates to “I show not your face but your heart’s desire” what would he see?

He would see “himself all-powerful and eternal. That’s what he wants." - JKR

Rowling intended a literal lesson to all readers with the mirror of ERISED, and Dumbledore’s caution ‘it does not do to dwell on dreams Harry and forget to live’. What does this mean in your life?

JKR: "My sister used to commit her innermost thoughts to her diary. Her great fear was that someone would read it. That’s how the idea came to me of a diary that is itself against you. You would be confiding everything to pages that aren’t inanimate."

Rowling’s mother loved to read, their childhood cottage was stuffed with books. In fact one of Rowling’s relatives was a reader for a publisher, and the Rowlings received yet-to-be published manuscripts from her.

One of Rowling greatest regrets is never telling her mother she had begun Harry Potter, and that she was never lived to see her success.

Not to our knowledge. She entertained her sister with stories and hungered for a large family like the Weasleys. She had a school friend with a large family, so Rowling had no illusions, the poverty of the Weasley family is based on her friend’s situation.

Rowling liked to invent games and play them with her sister Di, who she bullied if she didn’t play them to her satisfaction. She said a larger family would be more people to boss around.

His wand, matched to him by Ollivander, is made of Yew, whose sap is poisonous and fatal to humans, it is supposed to endow it’s possessor with the power of life and death. Yew wood continues to be poisonous after a tree has died. There’s a circle of growthless ground surrounding his grave, perhaps Tom was buried with his wand.

Was Harry’s wand. He shared a wand core with Tom, a Phoenix feather from Fawkes’ tail. But Rowling’s choice of wood was a deliberate contrast to Voldemort’s wand. Rowling said "European tradition has it that the holly tree (the name comes from ‘holy’) repels evil".

She said that wands of Holly are matched to wizards "engaged in some dangerous and often spiritual quest"

Dumbledore’s, Voldemort’s and lastly Harry’s wand, The Elder wand, also known as the Death stick, was allegedly made by Death and much like Frodo’s ring it chose its owner. It is generally of opportunistic temperament choosing the wizard who has the greatest power. Ultimately it chose Harry over Voldemort. Harry had love, love wins.

‘Wand of elder never prosper’ is a witch saying, echoing a line from the Wiccan Rede, ’Elder is the Lady’s Tree, burn it not or cursed ye be!’. Wiccan’s believe cutting Elder enrages the Mother Goddess, provoking her to seek vengeance.

More delightful commentary on the Elder Wand can be found in Rowling’s "Tales of Beedle the Bard", a book every Potterhead must read.

Nobody much liked Tom’s mother Merope, not even her own father. She drugged Muggle Tom Riddle snr, the love of her life, with a love potion. She was a black sheep 🐑

👛 You lost a Galleon & found a knut. -145 + 1 points.

Great sizzling dragon bogies, how is it possible to be this hopeless?

Their cousins, to keep their bloodline pure. Prince Charles’ ears anyone?

Violence flourished through the generations due to their habit of marrying their own cousins, Tom believed ‘Magic is Might’.

Your body should just quit, pointless sloshing around those dungbrains all day 💩

He was the Squire of Little Hangleton, meaning a village leader and possibly a member of parliament, thus all answers are arguably valid.

‘Tomos’, is Ancient Greek for "slice" or "piece", when Tom killed his grandfather he sliced his soul in half.

Tom murdered an MP. Don’t do this at home kids.

🔪 If I were you I’d chop that Dunderhead right off, save you a great deal of trouble and embarrassment.

Ordinarily I’d suspect you were under control of the Imperius Curse, but no Legilimency can penetrate a bone head 💀

1. Instantaneous death “Avada Kedavra!” - ”Ave-a Cadaver”
2. Excruciating pain “Crucio!”
3. Total control “Imperio!”

Outlawed by the ministry of magic, to maintain civilisation. Punishable by trial before the Wizengamot. Sentence of life in Azkaban. Voldemort knows them like the inside of his eyelids.

Harry Potter however was hopeless. At the battle of the Department of Mysteries he was unable to effectively cast the Cruciatus Curse on Bellatrix Lestrange, despite his fury with her for the murder of his beloved godfather. Harry lacked the desire to cause pain for its own sake.

Once again Potter proves the value of a cauldron with holes, you fill him with valuable ingredients and they just shoot straight out 💸

Tom was born in 1905. He was killed by Harry in 1998. His broken and mutilated soul is now trapped in the Limbo* of Kings Cross station for all eternity, waiting for a train-on, that never comes. Your standard London commute. King’s Cross also launched him to the only home he ever knew.

What can we expect? Of a boy too solid to apparate a meter.

🐸 Potter, some words of advice, don’t leave anything behind. The only way you’re coming back next year, is as somebodies pet. It’s perhaps fortunate that Longbottom’s always losing his.

From Sherlock Holmes, true. But not a competent answer is it?

It’s a pity your not as skilled in my class as you are on the Quidditch field, or you might dream to graduate.

David Cameron was Theresa May’s predecessor as PM. Master Cameron oversaw a boom in homelessness, gave us the Brexit referendum, resigned & purchased a £25,000 shed. Sadly none of these things are fictional.

Nevertheless I would buy Fancy-shed Dave a Butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks because I, Sam, am mostly civil, although my charming sister will eagerly tell you I smell. Despite that I doubt all the treasure in Gringotts would persuade Madam Rosmerta to serve Muggles 🤷

Class, this is one of those rare rare occasions, like an eclipse: we are compelled to marvel. The boy who can fall a mile from his broom, then land on his head without complaint, is, behold; correct.

Theresa May favours Lord Voldemort & Sherlock’s Moriarty saying

Harry Potter having none of those.